一、求一篇初中水平的英语笑话，别太短也别太长要好笑些呵呵，谢谢！

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. What are you charged with? he asked. Doing my christmas shopping early, replied the defendant. That's no offense, replied the judge, How early were you doing this shopping? Before the store opened, countered the prisoner. 采购过早 那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。 “采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。 “这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？” 在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

二、求一篇初中英语小笑话

I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: Wake up, sir!

I wasn't asleep, the man answered.

Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.

I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

三、英文简单笑话，初二水平

 Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, Congratulations, you got twins. The man said How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins. After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, Congratulations, you got triplets. Man was like Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the 3 musketeers. Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says  

Congratulations, you got twins x2. Man is happy and says, Ironic, I work for the hotel 4 Seasons. All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, What's wrong? I work for 7up!