【本期题目】

　　在初中三年的学习生活中，你一定遇到过很多老师，现在请你选择其中对你帮助最大的一位老师，给他(她)写一封感谢信，谈谈你对他(她)的印象，回忆一下他(她)是怎么帮助你的，并表达你对他(她)的祝福。信的开头和落款已给出，不计词数。

　　提示词：kind, help, encourage, thanks, hope

　　【写作指导】

　　本题要求我们给对自己帮助最大的老师写一封感谢信，因为是自己亲身经历的，又是写给自己的老师，同学们一定有千言万语要对他(她)说。在情真意切的同时，我们还要格外注意文章的详略和条理。

　　通过审题，我们可以获知：

　　1. 文章的主题：感谢师恩

　　2. 文章的要点：对老师的感谢之情，对老师的印象，回忆老师的帮助，并表达祝福。

　　3. 文章的体裁：书信

　　4. 文章的人称：You, I

　　5. 文章的时态：因为是回忆，所以以一般过去时为主。

　　同学们先把相关短语和词汇整理一下：

　　1. 描写老师的形容词有哪些呢?

　　kind, nice, selfless, patient, easy-going, responsible, be strict with…

　　2. 有哪些单词和短语可以表示老师对自己的帮助呢?

　　help me with my English/ maths, explain…to me patiently, encourage me never to give up, praise me when I make progress, have a talk with me, take me to the hospital when I am ill, tell me some good ways to learn……

　　接下来，我们看看如何表达对老师的感谢和祝福吧。

　　1. I want to say thanks/thank you.

　　2. I owe my progress/success to your help.

　　3. I owe you a lot for your help/what you’ve done for me.

　　4. I’ll never forget your help and I will remember all the happy times we shared together.

　　5. I hope you can be happy/healthy, forever.

　　6. I wish you good luck/health!

　　【普通作文】

　　Dear Miss Wang:

　　I’m glad to write to you.

　　You are such a kind and easy-going teacher that we all like you. I remember that at first I hated learning new English words very much and I even wanted to give up. When you noticed this, you had a talk with me. You told me some good ways to remember those words and encouraged me never to give up. I’ve made great progress in English and now I’m a top student in English.

　　I want to say thanks. I will work harder in the future. I hope you can be happy and healthy forever.

　　Yours,

　　Linda

　　点评：

　　本文信息点齐全，层次比较清楚，语言比较通顺，句式也有一定的变化。作者首先用一个so…that 句式将老师随和、善良的特点勾勒出来，接下来回忆了老师是如何在自己当初因讨厌背单词而想放弃学英语时对自己无私的帮助。结尾处，对于老师的感谢和祝福也就水到渠成，感情真挚、自然。

　　当然，文章的连贯和语言优化方面也还是可以进一步改进的。

　　【满分范文】

　　Dear Miss Wang,

　　I’m glad to write to you. At this moment, words can no longer express my feelings.

　　How kind and responsible can a teacher be? You just gave me the perfect answer. I can clearly remember how much I hated learning new English words at first. To be honest, I really wanted to give up. As soon as you noticed this, you offered to help me by telling me some shortcuts to learn them. You never failed to encourage me even when I made only a little progress. Little by little, my interest in English grew and now I’m a top student in English.

　　I want to say thanks to you. I will work harder in the future to live up to your expectations. I hope you can be happy and healthy forever.

　　Yours

　　Xiaoming

　　点评：

　　这篇修改后的作文无论在语言表达以及文章内涵方面都是相当优秀的。

　　首先，开头At this moment, words can no longer express my feelings. 短短的一句话便把作者此时的激动和对老师的感激之情表达得很充分。第二段首句的设问句How kind and responsible can a teacher be? 更是精彩。在描写自己起初对英语单词的厌烦时，作者用了一个how 所引导的宾语从句替代原文的普通句式。

　　文章的几个过渡语也是恰到好处: to be honest, little by little等，均在一定程度上增强了文章的连贯性。此外，几个表达法也相当地道、出彩，比如用 live up to one’s expectations (不辜负某人的期望)表示自己的决心，使得整篇文章的感情更加饱满、真挚，给人留下了深刻的印象。