1、I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car,every seat was already occupied.The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,and fearing he might miss his stop,he nudged him and said:Wake up,sir!

I wasn't asleep, the man answered.

Not asleep?But you had your eyes closed.

I know.I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了.售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说：“先生,醒醒!”

“我没有睡着.”那个男人回答.

“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”

“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已.”

2、Class, Lass and Ass

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.

A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面,因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”.

一位学生看到这条通知后,觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了,就走上前,将“class”中的“c”擦掉,将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”.教授听到笑声,转过身走回来,看了看那位学生,又看看被改动过的通知,不动声色地走上前,把“lass”中的“l”擦掉,将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”.看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生,教授扬长而去.